It is an act of violence against people of color and a betrayal of the group. When people of color finally feel safe enough to honestly talk about their experiences, nothing hurts more than to be answered with a racist reply. Do not allow racist statements or slurs against people of color.It's fine to maintain firm boundaries about what sort of language and behavior is and is not tolerated, but consider re-reading the chapter on tone policing (chapter 15:'But What If I Hate Al Sharpton?') before you decide what language is acceptable.

Abuse is never okay, but what is often called 'abuse' in heated discussions on race is often simply people of color expressing very justified emotions about living in a white supremacist society. Make space for the fear, anger, and hurt of people of color.Encourage group members to verbalize their intentions so that everyone has a better chance of reaching aligned goals. Ask all attendees what they hope to get out of the book, and out of the group discussion.Be aware of who in the group is given the most space to talk and try to center the conversation around voices of color-and, in particular, nonmale voices of color.Be prepared to enforce them instead of waiting on the few people of color in the group to risk ostracization by speaking out Then, incorporate these needs and boundaries into the agreed-upon parameters of the discussion. Ask what would make them feel safe and comfortable. Ask what subjects they are eager to discuss, and if there are subjects they do not want to discuss. If you are in a majority white space, talk with people of color in advance-in a private, safe setting-to hear their concerns about the upcoming discussion.

You want to talk about race